It's gratifying to know that I was able to inspire such penetrating discussion with my last column, and now I think we can add another one to the collection: If you know all about slashdot but have never heard of Lewis Black, you might be a geek.
The first time I heard the term "geek" was in college. I was dancing with a pretty hot coed...well, when I say "dancing," I really mean trying to dance, in a class intended to convey that skill, but the point is that a friend of hers yelled "geek" at her—or rather to her, referring to me—and I had never heard that before. As it happens, both of them hailed from San Jose, but I don't know if that's where the word originated. Did I mention that I was, in fact, at the time, not just a geek, but a 15-year-old geek? And that was in the days before there were so many rich geeks, before the label had begun to mellow.
In any case, much better a geek than a control freak. Not that it's impossible to be both, of course. Which brings me to the latest outrage: A friend sent me a link a couple of weeks ago about a New York State senator who's trying to fine people for crossing a street while listening to music. The act, which is called the Gerald Ford Protection Act of 2007, includes phones as well as iPods. Before alert readers start posting search engine results, I'll remind our younger readers that Gerald Ford, the former Beverly Hills sidekick of Axel Foley, was most famous for not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time. He also had a cameo role in one of the Pink Panther films.
While we can perhaps all agree that Gerald is as deserving of protection as the next guy, there remains the fact...how do I put this delicately?...Gerald Ford is dead already. We can also probably all agree that there are more clever moves than crossing the street in New York while talking on a phone. Especially a pay phone. Like not crossing the street in New York. But is doing that so vile as to merit the Rodney King workup? Law, in the final analysis, always comes down to violence, however rarely a videotape makes the news. If it's a law, the end game for the inattentive means guns and clubs. Is talking on a phone really ever grounds for a beating? College roommates and other teenagers excepted, of course.
Why, for that matter, draw the line there? Why not pummel into submission anyone talking in person to another person while crossing the street? Especially talking to somebody cute. Isn't that much more distracting? Oh, wait. Sex is the one taboo topic here, so never mind. And what about the news tickers and video screens on Times Square? Who is going to watch to make sure you don't resume reading them until you've finished crossing? And what are they going to not be watching instead?
Isn't it just raw technophobia to discriminate against electronic distractions, as opposed to the low-cut...um, I mean low-tech...kind? What comes next? Banning mechanical dogs from crossing the street with you? What about crossing the street while riding Segways? Or mechanical dogs riding Segways?
Speaking of taboos, I said I got a link. But the link has been down for two weeks now. While I'm not paranoid enough to attach any significance to that, it did make me think about a queer (in the non-sexual sense) new phenomenon I've been noticing over the last few years. Somebody says something astute and insightful on the radio, something that nails a key, embarrassing, political point. The airwaves instantly go dead and stay dead for a few seconds. When the broadcast resumes, the discussion has abruptly shifted, usually to music. At this point you're thinking, "This isn't funny." I have to agree.
Andrew Winkler, PhD., the former Columbia University Professor, has been creating IT and data storage architectures for the last 30 years, notably at Columbia University and Bell Labs. His first real job was with the IBM Thomas J. Watson Research Lab. Since then, he has launched several successful businesses and is currently chairman of Data Risk Management Inc., which brings to market his new technologies for solving the business problems created by the risks of data loss. In his spare time, he has invented a novel system that makes learning to read dramatically easier at www.soundplayground.org. You can reach him at
The Control Freaks Want to "Protect" Geeks from Themselves
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