29
Fri, Nov
0 New Articles

It?s the Messaging, Stupid

Commentary
Typography
  • Smaller Small Medium Big Bigger
  • Default Helvetica Segoe Georgia Times

I knew it all along. Now I have proof. A University of London study found that incessant use of email and text messaging lowers your IQ by 10 points. Ha! Those smug little people with their noses constantly buried in their BlackBerry devices think they're so smart! Yeah, right.

That 10-point drop is an average across all study participants. For some unexplained reason, male IQ declined five points and female IQ dropped 15 points. No doubt, men will boast of their ability to engage in messaging tasks with less harm to their intelligence, while women will suggest that the reason for the difference is that they have so many more points of IQ to begin with that the extra 10 points don't matter. I'm sure there are far better jokes about the difference between the sexes, but the political correctness squad would arrest me for publishing them, so I won't even bother to try to think of one. Besides, I've just finished checking my email, and that's probably rendered me incapable of thinking of one.

The research suggests that the IQ drop from emailing and text messaging is roughly on par with what you would experience after a sleepless night. So what would happen if the reason you had a sleepless night was that you were too busy answering email and text messages? I don't know the answer, but if you're planning to go to college, you might want to lay off the BlackBerry and get some sleep before writing the entrance exam.

The British researchers who discovered this phenomenon blame it on what they call "info-mania," which describes people who compulsively check their text and email messages during virtually all waking hours. In light of the study's findings, those people who loudly sing the praises of our now constantly connected world begin to sound pretty stupid, don't they? Maybe they've been using their email and BlackBerry devices too much.

In addition to doing clinical studies on 80 men and women, the researchers also interviewed 1,100 people. Of those, 89% said that it was extremely rude to interrupt a face-to-face meeting to answer a phone or messaging device, yet 21% said that they did so. That means that some respondents either were knowingly and intentionally rude or were inconsistent in their responses. Then again, low IQ doesn't typically lead to a lot of consistent thinking.

To be fair, it's possible that these people were neither intentionally rude nor contradictory. Maybe they couldn't help themselves. Fully 62% of the respondents admitted to being addicted to checking their email and messages even when they were at home or away on a vacation. Don't be too hard on these people. They have a disease. They need help.

Here's something else to consider: For both men and women, that 10-point IQ drop from excessive email and text message exceeds the four-point IQ drop experienced by marijuana smokers. Well, at least now we know what we really should be just saying no to.

I can see it now. After a massive public outcry over the problem, the U.S. federal government will probably introduce an anti-messaging campaign that includes laws against its recreational use. People will start hiding their BlackBerry devices under false bottoms in their suitcases or in the wheel wells of their cars whenever they cross the border.

I suspect that, after first following the American lead in banning recreational messaging, the Canadian parliament, in response to a successful constitutional challenge before the Supreme Court of Canada, will pass an act allowing the use of messaging for medical purposes. It will likely then endlessly debate another bill that, if passed, will decriminalize the use of small amounts of messaging while keeping it as a misdemeanor offense and maintaining severe criminal penalties against the trafficking of messaging services.

While we're talking about governments and messaging, I read that, these days, most people who spend their time in the political arena are addicted to their BlackBerry devices. Apparently, they get very nervous if they're away from their devices for even brief periods or if they go for very long without hearing the beep of an incoming message. Considering the findings of this new study, that explains a lot about politics today.

The current situation isn't entirely bad for everybody. I see a novel defense for people facing charges in the notorious big-business accounting scandals and in the major political scandal that, as I'm writing this, dominates the media and parliament here in Canada: diminished capacity due to excessive messaging. Can't you just hear it? "Your honor, I can't be held responsible for my actions. My incessant but totally necessary messaging and emailing lowered my IQ, rendering me unable to distinguish between right and wrong. Don't blame me. Sue the email and messaging vendors instead."

Of course, BlackBerry addicts deny the report's findings, saying, "That's nonsense. I use my BlackBerry at least two hours in the morning, three in the afternoon, and another two in the evening. That makes at least...uh...um...I'll get it...give me a minute...um, right, two plus three plus two, that makes at least, um, eleven hours every day or so. Despite that, I'm no less...what's the word?...it'll come to me...it's on the tip of my tongue...it rhymes with heart...I think it starts with an S, but I'm not sure...you know, the opposite of stupid...oh yeah, I'm no less, um, not stupid than I used to be."

It's not just our brains that are being ruined by this stuff. According to the Washington Post, orthopedists are reporting an increase in the number of cases of what they're calling "overuse syndrome" or "BlackBerry thumb." The symptoms include sometimes excruciating pains between the thumb and the wrist. Of course, while BlackBerry gets the headlines, the problem is not limited to those devices. Any keyboard designed for thumb-typing can cause the same injury if used excessively.

The Washington Post reported that one sufferer stopped using her BlackBerry entirely after she found that just cutting down and taking frequent breaks did not eliminate the pain caused by the tendonitis that was brought on by her excessive thumb-typing. She went through 12 weeks of therapy to finally cure the pain and even then it came back three months later. This sufferer's comments on giving up her BlackBerry were, "I'm frustrated. I'm making more phone calls.... I hate not being efficient."

Excuse me? Just how efficient do you think you'll be when you lose the use of your opposable thumbs? Those opposable thumbs and our superior brain power are what set us above most other animals on this planet. Now we've got some devices that are doing their best to ruin both our brains and our thumbs. And they call this progress.

Getting rid of your BlackBerry-induced thumb pain might take a long time even if you quit cold turkey, but there is good news on the IQ front. The University of London research shows that the drop in IQ is temporary. If you stop being obsessive about email and messaging, your IQ will quickly recover. Did you hear me? Stop being so obsessive about your use of email and messaging! Do I need to spell it out for you? Oh, wait. Maybe I do need to spell it out for you if you've been doing too much emailing and messaging.

The only problem that I see with that prescription is that if I cut down on my emailing (I hate and don't use messaging), then what excuse am I going to give for my falling IQ? I'll have to go back to blaming my advanced age.

Joel Klebanoff is a consultant, a writer, and president of Klebanoff Associates, Inc., a Toronto, Canada-based marketing communications firm. Joel has 25 years experience working in IT, first as a programmer/analyst and then as a marketer. He holds a Bachelor of Science in computer science and an MBA, both from the University of Toronto. Contact Joel at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. On second thought, call him. He can't afford to lose any more IQ points.

Joel Klebanoff

Joel Klebanoff is a consultant, writer, and formerly president of Klebanoff Associates, Inc., a Toronto-based marketing communications firm. He has 30 years' experience in various IT capacities and now specializes in writing articles, white papers, and case studies for IT vendors and publications across North America. Joel is also the author of BYTE-ing Satire, a compilation of a year's worth of his columns. He holds a BS in computer science and an MBA, both from the University of Toronto.


MC Press books written by Joel Klebanoff available now on the MC Press Bookstore.

BYTE-ing Satire BYTE-ing Satire
Find out the hilarious answer to the eternal question: "Is technology more hindrance than help?"
List Price $14.95

Now On Sale

BLOG COMMENTS POWERED BY DISQUS

LATEST COMMENTS

Support MC Press Online

$

Book Reviews

Resource Center

  • SB Profound WC 5536 Have you been wondering about Node.js? Our free Node.js Webinar Series takes you from total beginner to creating a fully-functional IBM i Node.js business application. You can find Part 1 here. In Part 2 of our free Node.js Webinar Series, Brian May teaches you the different tooling options available for writing code, debugging, and using Git for version control. Brian will briefly discuss the different tools available, and demonstrate his preferred setup for Node development on IBM i or any platform. Attend this webinar to learn:

  • SB Profound WP 5539More than ever, there is a demand for IT to deliver innovation. Your IBM i has been an essential part of your business operations for years. However, your organization may struggle to maintain the current system and implement new projects. The thousands of customers we've worked with and surveyed state that expectations regarding the digital footprint and vision of the company are not aligned with the current IT environment.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT Generic IBM announced the E1080 servers using the latest Power10 processor in September 2021. The most powerful processor from IBM to date, Power10 is designed to handle the demands of doing business in today’s high-tech atmosphere, including running cloud applications, supporting big data, and managing AI workloads. But what does Power10 mean for your data center? In this recorded webinar, IBMers Dan Sundt and Dylan Boday join IBM Power Champion Tom Huntington for a discussion on why Power10 technology is the right strategic investment if you run IBM i, AIX, or Linux. In this action-packed hour, Tom will share trends from the IBM i and AIX user communities while Dan and Dylan dive into the tech specs for key hardware, including:

  • Magic MarkTRY the one package that solves all your document design and printing challenges on all your platforms. Produce bar code labels, electronic forms, ad hoc reports, and RFID tags – without programming! MarkMagic is the only document design and print solution that combines report writing, WYSIWYG label and forms design, and conditional printing in one integrated product. Make sure your data survives when catastrophe hits. Request your trial now!  Request Now.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericForms of ransomware has been around for over 30 years, and with more and more organizations suffering attacks each year, it continues to endure. What has made ransomware such a durable threat and what is the best way to combat it? In order to prevent ransomware, organizations must first understand how it works.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericIT security is a top priority for businesses around the world, but most IBM i pros don’t know where to begin—and most cybersecurity experts don’t know IBM i. In this session, Robin Tatam explores the business impact of lax IBM i security, the top vulnerabilities putting IBM i at risk, and the steps you can take to protect your organization. If you’re looking to avoid unexpected downtime or corrupted data, you don’t want to miss this session.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericCan you trust all of your users all of the time? A typical end user receives 16 malicious emails each month, but only 17 percent of these phishing campaigns are reported to IT. Once an attack is underway, most organizations won’t discover the breach until six months later. A staggering amount of damage can occur in that time. Despite these risks, 93 percent of organizations are leaving their IBM i systems vulnerable to cybercrime. In this on-demand webinar, IBM i security experts Robin Tatam and Sandi Moore will reveal:

  • FORTRA Disaster protection is vital to every business. Yet, it often consists of patched together procedures that are prone to error. From automatic backups to data encryption to media management, Robot automates the routine (yet often complex) tasks of iSeries backup and recovery, saving you time and money and making the process safer and more reliable. Automate your backups with the Robot Backup and Recovery Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAManaging messages on your IBM i can be more than a full-time job if you have to do it manually. Messages need a response and resources must be monitored—often over multiple systems and across platforms. How can you be sure you won’t miss important system events? Automate your message center with the Robot Message Management Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAThe thought of printing, distributing, and storing iSeries reports manually may reduce you to tears. Paper and labor costs associated with report generation can spiral out of control. Mountains of paper threaten to swamp your files. Robot automates report bursting, distribution, bundling, and archiving, and offers secure, selective online report viewing. Manage your reports with the Robot Report Management Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAFor over 30 years, Robot has been a leader in systems management for IBM i. With batch job creation and scheduling at its core, the Robot Job Scheduling Solution reduces the opportunity for human error and helps you maintain service levels, automating even the biggest, most complex runbooks. Manage your job schedule with the Robot Job Scheduling Solution. Key features include:

  • LANSA Business users want new applications now. Market and regulatory pressures require faster application updates and delivery into production. Your IBM i developers may be approaching retirement, and you see no sure way to fill their positions with experienced developers. In addition, you may be caught between maintaining your existing applications and the uncertainty of moving to something new.

  • LANSAWhen it comes to creating your business applications, there are hundreds of coding platforms and programming languages to choose from. These options range from very complex traditional programming languages to Low-Code platforms where sometimes no traditional coding experience is needed. Download our whitepaper, The Power of Writing Code in a Low-Code Solution, and:

  • LANSASupply Chain is becoming increasingly complex and unpredictable. From raw materials for manufacturing to food supply chains, the journey from source to production to delivery to consumers is marred with inefficiencies, manual processes, shortages, recalls, counterfeits, and scandals. In this webinar, we discuss how:

  • The MC Resource Centers bring you the widest selection of white papers, trial software, and on-demand webcasts for you to choose from. >> Review the list of White Papers, Trial Software or On-Demand Webcast at the MC Press Resource Center. >> Add the items to yru Cart and complet he checkout process and submit

  • Profound Logic Have you been wondering about Node.js? Our free Node.js Webinar Series takes you from total beginner to creating a fully-functional IBM i Node.js business application.

  • SB Profound WC 5536Join us for this hour-long webcast that will explore:

  • Fortra IT managers hoping to find new IBM i talent are discovering that the pool of experienced RPG programmers and operators or administrators with intimate knowledge of the operating system and the applications that run on it is small. This begs the question: How will you manage the platform that supports such a big part of your business? This guide offers strategies and software suggestions to help you plan IT staffing and resources and smooth the transition after your AS/400 talent retires. Read on to learn: