29
Fri, Nov
0 New Articles

Flushing Nanotechnology

Commentary
Typography
  • Smaller Small Medium Big Bigger
  • Default Helvetica Segoe Georgia Times

I take it all back, every word. All of my past incessant whining and complaining about the absurdities of so many of our gadgets and the weird, disturbing idiosyncrasies that have resulted from their use have been undeserved. Finally, somebody is selling a technology so incredibly useful that it makes up for (and possibly flushes away) all of the crap that high-tech vendors have foisted on us in the past. When Victoria, the editor of this column, pointed me to an article in ExtremeNano, all I needed to do was read the headline in the brief email teaser to know that I had to write about the story.

What could possibly be so wonderful as to lead me, an incontrovertible skeptic and inveterate whiner, to sing its praises? Apparently, you can now buy a nanotechnology-based, self-cleaning toilet. Yes, that's right, a self-cleaning toilet, using nanotechnology no less. At least, that's what it said in the email teaser for the article. Now that's progress!

A self-cleaning toilet particularly interests me. For nine out of the past 10 years, I've been the hands-down winner of the global slob-of-the-year award. The coveted prize, a gold-plated dust bunny, is presented in an exciting, vermin-studded ceremony held annually in a major Los Angeles-area garbage dump. Someone in Botswana took the title away from me three years ago, but I heard that he's been committed to an institution, so I shouldn't have any serious competition in the future.

I don't enjoy being a slob; quite the contrary. But I prefer being a slob to the effort required to tidy up. I would hire someone to come in and clean, but I have a grave mania that prevents me from allowing anyone to come in and touch my stuff. OK. I'm sick. I know it. I would seek help, but I also have an intense, irrational fear of psychiatrists and psychologists. Who am I going to get to help me overcome that one? But I digress. Back to self-cleaning, nanotechnology toilets.

Oh, wait. Maybe I should have actually read the article first, rather than just skimming the email teaser, before beginning to write this column. It appears that the invention is not all that I thought it was. Who would have imagined that hype around a new technology would end up not being all that it appears at first glance? That sort of thing doesn't happen, does it?

It seems that the toilet is not really self-cleaning. Once I got past the first few paragraphs of the article I found that, well, no, actually I would still need to clean this toilet, but the cleaning effort is reduced. Reduced effort is good, but when it comes to cleaning--particularly, but not exclusively cleaning toilets--zero is what I'm after.

To be fair, I can't blame the vendor, TOTO, for using unwarranted hype. I couldn't find any mention of "self-cleaning" on TOTO's Web site. For all I know, it could have been hyperbole written by someone not associated with TOTO who wanted to get people like me to click-through from the email teaser to read the article. If so, it worked. Hope springs eternal.

The way the toilet works is it uses a ceramic glaze that creates a surface that is nonporous and much smoother than what is found on normal toilets. To see the difference you'd need a microscope. Nonetheless, if the article and the vendor's contentions are correct, it's enough of a difference such that the substances that respected, learned scientists refer to as "yucky stuff" (hey, scientists are people too) are much less likely to adhere to the toilet bowl.

Just as an aside, TOTO also sells upscale toilets and add-ons that offer things like a built-in bidet with a "dual action spray with cycling movement and massage feature" and a warm air blower for drying, a seat warmer, and a "convenient wireless remote control with large LCD panel." That seat warmer could come in handy now that we have indoor plumbing in the igloos that we all use for housing up here in Canada. I couldn't find any more information on TOTO's Web site about the remote control, which is too bad. Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm a bit confused. I can't think of how I could make use of a toilet from a sufficient distance for the wireless remote to be of much benefit. My aim is not that good.

TOTO also offers antibacterial seats. That sounds like a pretty good idea, but I worry a little bit about it. (What, me worry?) Why am I concerned about something that sounds as good as fighting bacteria? There are those who contend that children who go to daycare in their early years do get a lot more infections there, but they also build up their immune systems and, therefore, do a better job of fighting off more serious diseases in their later years compared to others of their cohort who stayed at home in those early years. The UK Childhood Cancer Study, the largest-ever study into the causes of leukemia, the results of which were released in April 2005, suggests the disease prevention benefit of daycare may even extend to childhood leukemia.

I have not one shred of scientific evidence to back it up, but I think it might be the same with toilet seats and other common sources of bacteria. Coming into contact with the occasional bacteria on a toilet seat might help us to exercise our immune systems and make them stronger. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to rationalize my slovenly ways. You be the judge.

Back to these non-self-cleaning, "self-cleaning" toilets. Even though the toilet is not really self-cleaning, it's still an exciting development in one respect. It's a practical example of nanotechnology in action at the consumer level. Well, maybe not. Read the second-to-last paragraph of the article and you'll find out that some purists insist that it is not really an example of nanotechnology, just nanotechnology-ish. I shouldn't be surprised that some latitude was allowed in the use of the term "nanotechnology," since the article appeared in a nanotechnology-focused publication. I guess it was a slow news day on the nanotechnology front.

Again, I can't blame the vendor itself for getting me excited about the nanotechnology angle. I couldn't find any mention of the word "nanotechnology" on its Web site.

The article also mentioned that the toilet is not the first application of nanotechnology to everyday cleaning problems. The article talks about titanium dioxide-coated windows that use UV light to oxidize organic debris. The windows also force water to flow over the glass in a sheet rather than forming droplets. According to the article, a simple hose or rain shower rinses the glass clean. That sounds like a nice idea, but I live in a condo and I'm not allowed to replace the windows. Even if I could get the condo board to agree to allow me to install the new high-tech windows, I'd probably have a hard time snaking a long garden hose into my unit, which is on the second and third floors of the building, to clean the inside of the glass.

If that one article is any indication, it doesn't sound as if nanotechnology is quite where I want it to be yet. Just so that scientists working in the field don't go wildly off in the wrong direction, allow me to use the rest of this paragraph to tell them what I'm looking for. When I take a glob of your nanotechnology gray goo and look at it under an exceptionally powerful microscope, what I want to see are millions of Mr. Clean look-alikes. Their primary purpose in life should be to clean all of my possessions continuously and as thoroughly as possible, without any direction from me. If they could also set me up on a hot date with an exceptionally intelligent, kindhearted, beautiful woman, that would definitely be a bonus.

Joel Klebanoff is a consultant, a writer, and president of Klebanoff Associates, Inc., a Toronto, Canada-based marketing communications firm. Joel has 25 years experience working in IT, first as a programmer/analyst and then as a marketer. He holds a Bachelor of Science in computer science and an MBA, both from the University of Toronto. Contact Joel at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. His personal toilet habits are nobody's business, so don't even ask.

Joel Klebanoff

Joel Klebanoff is a consultant, writer, and formerly president of Klebanoff Associates, Inc., a Toronto-based marketing communications firm. He has 30 years' experience in various IT capacities and now specializes in writing articles, white papers, and case studies for IT vendors and publications across North America. Joel is also the author of BYTE-ing Satire, a compilation of a year's worth of his columns. He holds a BS in computer science and an MBA, both from the University of Toronto.


MC Press books written by Joel Klebanoff available now on the MC Press Bookstore.

BYTE-ing Satire BYTE-ing Satire
Find out the hilarious answer to the eternal question: "Is technology more hindrance than help?"
List Price $14.95

Now On Sale

BLOG COMMENTS POWERED BY DISQUS

LATEST COMMENTS

Support MC Press Online

$

Book Reviews

Resource Center

  • SB Profound WC 5536 Have you been wondering about Node.js? Our free Node.js Webinar Series takes you from total beginner to creating a fully-functional IBM i Node.js business application. You can find Part 1 here. In Part 2 of our free Node.js Webinar Series, Brian May teaches you the different tooling options available for writing code, debugging, and using Git for version control. Brian will briefly discuss the different tools available, and demonstrate his preferred setup for Node development on IBM i or any platform. Attend this webinar to learn:

  • SB Profound WP 5539More than ever, there is a demand for IT to deliver innovation. Your IBM i has been an essential part of your business operations for years. However, your organization may struggle to maintain the current system and implement new projects. The thousands of customers we've worked with and surveyed state that expectations regarding the digital footprint and vision of the company are not aligned with the current IT environment.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT Generic IBM announced the E1080 servers using the latest Power10 processor in September 2021. The most powerful processor from IBM to date, Power10 is designed to handle the demands of doing business in today’s high-tech atmosphere, including running cloud applications, supporting big data, and managing AI workloads. But what does Power10 mean for your data center? In this recorded webinar, IBMers Dan Sundt and Dylan Boday join IBM Power Champion Tom Huntington for a discussion on why Power10 technology is the right strategic investment if you run IBM i, AIX, or Linux. In this action-packed hour, Tom will share trends from the IBM i and AIX user communities while Dan and Dylan dive into the tech specs for key hardware, including:

  • Magic MarkTRY the one package that solves all your document design and printing challenges on all your platforms. Produce bar code labels, electronic forms, ad hoc reports, and RFID tags – without programming! MarkMagic is the only document design and print solution that combines report writing, WYSIWYG label and forms design, and conditional printing in one integrated product. Make sure your data survives when catastrophe hits. Request your trial now!  Request Now.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericForms of ransomware has been around for over 30 years, and with more and more organizations suffering attacks each year, it continues to endure. What has made ransomware such a durable threat and what is the best way to combat it? In order to prevent ransomware, organizations must first understand how it works.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericIT security is a top priority for businesses around the world, but most IBM i pros don’t know where to begin—and most cybersecurity experts don’t know IBM i. In this session, Robin Tatam explores the business impact of lax IBM i security, the top vulnerabilities putting IBM i at risk, and the steps you can take to protect your organization. If you’re looking to avoid unexpected downtime or corrupted data, you don’t want to miss this session.

  • SB HelpSystems ROBOT GenericCan you trust all of your users all of the time? A typical end user receives 16 malicious emails each month, but only 17 percent of these phishing campaigns are reported to IT. Once an attack is underway, most organizations won’t discover the breach until six months later. A staggering amount of damage can occur in that time. Despite these risks, 93 percent of organizations are leaving their IBM i systems vulnerable to cybercrime. In this on-demand webinar, IBM i security experts Robin Tatam and Sandi Moore will reveal:

  • FORTRA Disaster protection is vital to every business. Yet, it often consists of patched together procedures that are prone to error. From automatic backups to data encryption to media management, Robot automates the routine (yet often complex) tasks of iSeries backup and recovery, saving you time and money and making the process safer and more reliable. Automate your backups with the Robot Backup and Recovery Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAManaging messages on your IBM i can be more than a full-time job if you have to do it manually. Messages need a response and resources must be monitored—often over multiple systems and across platforms. How can you be sure you won’t miss important system events? Automate your message center with the Robot Message Management Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAThe thought of printing, distributing, and storing iSeries reports manually may reduce you to tears. Paper and labor costs associated with report generation can spiral out of control. Mountains of paper threaten to swamp your files. Robot automates report bursting, distribution, bundling, and archiving, and offers secure, selective online report viewing. Manage your reports with the Robot Report Management Solution. Key features include:

  • FORTRAFor over 30 years, Robot has been a leader in systems management for IBM i. With batch job creation and scheduling at its core, the Robot Job Scheduling Solution reduces the opportunity for human error and helps you maintain service levels, automating even the biggest, most complex runbooks. Manage your job schedule with the Robot Job Scheduling Solution. Key features include:

  • LANSA Business users want new applications now. Market and regulatory pressures require faster application updates and delivery into production. Your IBM i developers may be approaching retirement, and you see no sure way to fill their positions with experienced developers. In addition, you may be caught between maintaining your existing applications and the uncertainty of moving to something new.

  • LANSAWhen it comes to creating your business applications, there are hundreds of coding platforms and programming languages to choose from. These options range from very complex traditional programming languages to Low-Code platforms where sometimes no traditional coding experience is needed. Download our whitepaper, The Power of Writing Code in a Low-Code Solution, and:

  • LANSASupply Chain is becoming increasingly complex and unpredictable. From raw materials for manufacturing to food supply chains, the journey from source to production to delivery to consumers is marred with inefficiencies, manual processes, shortages, recalls, counterfeits, and scandals. In this webinar, we discuss how:

  • The MC Resource Centers bring you the widest selection of white papers, trial software, and on-demand webcasts for you to choose from. >> Review the list of White Papers, Trial Software or On-Demand Webcast at the MC Press Resource Center. >> Add the items to yru Cart and complet he checkout process and submit

  • Profound Logic Have you been wondering about Node.js? Our free Node.js Webinar Series takes you from total beginner to creating a fully-functional IBM i Node.js business application.

  • SB Profound WC 5536Join us for this hour-long webcast that will explore:

  • Fortra IT managers hoping to find new IBM i talent are discovering that the pool of experienced RPG programmers and operators or administrators with intimate knowledge of the operating system and the applications that run on it is small. This begs the question: How will you manage the platform that supports such a big part of your business? This guide offers strategies and software suggestions to help you plan IT staffing and resources and smooth the transition after your AS/400 talent retires. Read on to learn: